Fix Your Computer, Already!

I know that not everyone is a CS major. Some say they aren't "technology savvy". Other people cite lack of funds. But whatever the excuse, we've all been there...one of our well-meaning friends or family members opens on the wrong 'funny' spam email and you have...you're own viral computer infection!

So I'd like to take this time to say you no longer have an excuse. If you have a PC, you have the ability to protect yourself easily and freely - and I'm gonna tell you how.

Step 1: Free Antivirus Software
Our winner: AVG

I've been using AVG ever since my free subscription to Norton ran out after I graduated college. And as much as I did like Norton, I have to admit I've actually had fewer infections while running AVG! AVG is one of the more user-friendly antivirus programs I've encountered. Once installed, the program will automatically check for updates on a daily basic, and allows you to set a regular scan session to check your computer for problems. Other than a barely perceptible slowdown while the scan is running (but hey - you can set your computer to do that, at say, 3am when you're probably asleep anyways), the program virtually runs itself quietly in the background.

Step 2: Free Firewall Software
Our winner: a tie between Zone Alarm and Online Armor

This is another example of the free thing being better than the paid thing with the extra bells and whistles. I used the full version of Zone Alarm for about a year, and the CPU usage was horrible. The free version, however, is more sleek and efficient, and does exactly what you need it to: control your incoming and outgoing connections.

Zone Alarm does need a little bit of patience; after installation, you need to 'train' it as to what programs you use and what access they have. Upon launching any internet related program, Zone Alarm will prompt to you accept or deny the connection. Make sure to click the "remember this setting for later" box, and in a few days, you'll be seeing few if any remaining prompts. In the future, then, when some malware does attempt to bury into your computer, you can use that Zone Alarm prompt to stop it in it's tracks!

The free version of Zone Alarm can still sometimes slow your computer or have unwanted interactions with some of the above programs - if so, I'd recommend Online Armor instead. I'm using this on my newest computer after a Zone Alarm compatibility issue. Online Armor does require a little more knowledge and doesn't provide quite as nice as an interface, but the speed and 'train-ability' of the program is excellent!

Step 3: Free Adware/Spyware Software
Our winner: a tie between Ad-aware and Spybot

Both programs offer step-by-step instructions on setting up and scanning your PC. And while both programs are very efficient and are updated on a daily basis, there is so much crap being released on the internet on a daily basis that I've found it useful to have both - on occasion, one program will locate harmful files that the other program doesn't have a definition for yet.

-----

So what are you waiting for? It's not like you have anything better to do on a Thursday night. Take two hours out of your evening and get your computer fixed. And stop sending me those chain emails. Even the ones without viruses are still stupid.

Not getting any job applicants? Blame your IT guy.

As much as I love my job, like most everyone else, I do scrounge around on occasion to see what other opportunities might be present in my area. Today I found a very promising job with a local branch of a well-known company, and sat down to apply.

There's one thing I've noticed about applying for jobs these days: it's almost pointless to have a resume. Seriously. Just a year or two ago it was perfectly acceptable to just email, fax, mail, or drop off a copy of your resume and move on. But now, pretty much 80% of the jobs I see require you to fill out pages and pages of forms and applications. It's all the same information - just formatted to their taste. However, for a serious job seeker, it's really time consuming. Hell, it was frustrating for me spending forty minutes applying for this one job this one day - imagine doing ten or so applications like this every day!

So imagine how even more frustrating it was when I went to click 'submit' and got an error message! "Please fill out all of the Online Questionnaire before submitting." Ok, I thought, I missed something, and went back. Nope. I looked at every section, analyzed every asterisk-denoted required field, and the thing was full. But I still couldn't submit the application. In desperation, I scoured the website for an email address or contact form - but nothing was offered.

So...if you're running a business and are baffled at the total lack of applications in spite of having 20+ job openings - you might wanna check your website.

Health Insurance - A Healthy Nightmare

The topic of public health insurance is a huge debate right now, and though I personally generally align myself with the political elements that don't believe that it's the government's job to keep us healthy, I do have enough experience with the current system to agree that something has got to be done to keep these morons at bay.

Due to the nature of my career, I have been paying for my own health insurance since 2005. For the most part I've been reasonably happy with the coverage, though I do have to laugh sarcastically each year when I get the notification that my rate is going up another $20 a month because "you got older!" Well, I'm sorry about that, the time machine is still in the blueprint stage.

In any case, though, I've had to change companies a few times due to relocation, so I'm pretty experienced with the procedure: apply for coverage with the new region's company, let them verify my previous coverage with my current company, cancel coverage with current company. Shouldn't be much of a hassle, right?

Shouldn't be, anyways.

This summer, after moving, I went to cancel my old account. After two failed attempts at calling into customer service (the voice recognition software wasn't accepting any voice commands and therefore put me on hold for 40+ minutes each time), I finally logged into my account online and sent an email to customer service. Five days later (!!!) I finally got a reply, informing me to send a letter to the address they provided, with my information, reason for cancellation, etc. At this point, it was only a few days before my intended date of cancellation, so I ended up with an extra bill I had no intention of paying a week or so later. I again called customer service, and was informed that it would take a week or two for the information to be entered into the database, so to just hold off on paying the bill and wait to receive a cancellation later. No cancellation later arrived, but neither did another bill, so I considered the matter closed.

Two months later, I receive a whopping bill for the previous three months (one of which I had legitimately paid), along with the notification that they would be sending the account to collections. Having already had two previous fun and completely unjustified experiences with collections agencies in the past - and worth at least three more future rants - I went directly to the Better Business Bureau to take care of the problem. (The BBB, by the by, gets this ranter's Platinum Seal of Approval for being an advocate for people like me and you.)

Lo and behold, two weeks later, I received a very nice letter from the BBB, informing me that the insurance company had canceled the account and was sorry for the inconvenience.

The moral of the story is, don't be bullied by companies attempting to swindle you out of your hard earned cash. Many people may think they have no choice, and others may rather pay an extra bill to avoid the hassle. But we have to stand our ground and keep these creeps from getting any more money than they deserve.

Returned Statement Fee

Today I learned that, in addition to the absurd overdraft fees some banks are applying to their customers (remind me to tell you the story sometime about how I accrued $280 in overdraft fees for being $10.01 over-drafted after my direct deposit from work got delayed...), some banks are now charging a fee if the statement they send you in the mail gets returned.

Yes, that's right, you can get charged $5.00 if the post office forgets where your house is, and the statement gets returned to the bank. I'm not really sure how that's my fault, but I will let you know the logic behind that one when the "Online 24/7 Costumer Support!" gets back to me in their average four day return time.

Another Post Office Fail

I'm often on the road due to work, so while I'm out I frequently have to locate the local post office in order to send out new CD orders. Today I spent about half an hour driving up and down a back road in rural Virginia attempting to find the post office branch Google Maps had sent me to. After my third pass, I finally found it:

The only reason I was able to find this place was because the car in front of me slowed down to pull in, and I saw the FedEx drop box and took a lucky guess. There is absolutely no signage on the building or out in front. Sorry, but cheap 1960's minimalist brick architecture doesn't automatically say "post office" to me. Or does it?

Regular Office Hours

Whether you view it as a regular "nine-to-five", 8am to 5pm, 9am to 6pm, or something in between, you know what I mean - that time of day, Monday through Friday, when you're at work. Some are fortunate to have rotating schedules, work early or late shifts, or maybe even have a three day weekend. But in the US, most of us are condemned to sit in our cubicles from mid morning to early evening.

Why, then, do so many companies who depend our business only make their services available when we can't be there?

You've probably already read my rant about standing in line at the post office on Saturday mornings. But the same is also true for a variety of other much-needed services: banks, pharmacies, the DMV, etc. When the hell am I supposed to cash my checks, mail my letters, pick up my allergy meds, and get my freakin' voter registration card renewed if you're not gonna open until after I have to be at work and then close before I get out?!

Some may say, "Oh, but you've got time on your lunch break, and there's always the drive-thru!" Ok, have you guys actually been to any of these places lately? Here's a few true stories.

+ I was out of town a few weeks ago for work, and as I'm leaving to drive back home, I stopped at the local branch of my bank to deposit the paycheck I had received from that week. I had looked up the bank hours that morning, and found that while the bank didn't open until 9am, the drive-thru was open at 8:30. I arrived around 8:40, and the entire place was closed. I walked up to the front doors, and noticed a small print-out, informing me that due to budget cuts, the drive-thru hours were now matching the inside hours. So I sat around until 9am, watching a few other customers pulling up, looking at the sign on the door, cursing in a variety of colorful ways, and driving off to work. At 9:07, the bank teller finally arrived, went inside, and locked the door behind her! At 9:11, she returned to the door, to let me and two other pissed customers inside to do our business.

+ The line at my local post office has a current speed record of 43 minutes. I have an hour break for lunch, and it takes me about six minutes to get from the door of my work place to the door of the post office (and vice versa). You do the math, and tell me you want to swallow your lunch in that amount of time.

+ Two weeks ago, I left work and had to drive to four pharmacies in the area to find one that was open past 6pm. And even then I had to argue to get the pharmacist to fill the prescription before they closed at 8pm. Why it takes a degree and an hour and a half to put pre-packaged medicine into a little white paper bag is beyond me, but that's a rant for another day.

If I wasn't already running a small business, I'd start one like this: I'd make a new chain retail store that offers all of these services, but at the times when we need them. The store hours would be 5am - 9am and then again from 6pm - 10pm. Maybe I'd even give in and have a drive-thru window open during lunch hours and on weekends. So hey, you there - yeah, the one sitting at the computer desk reading this and eating Cheetos. How about you? Go ahead and steal my idea - you don't have to even give me credit for it. Just build a branch in my neighborhood, ok?

The Post Office - Can't Live With It, Can't Live Without It

When I'm not writing for SHIK, at work, or somehow otherwise being annoyed in my daily activities, I also run a small music business. Like a lot of other entrepreneurs working from the home, I have to make a few runs to the post office each week to mail out packages of CDs.

Going to the post office is an epic event, and requires careful planning. First of all, in the brilliant organization that affects many other businesses serving the common man (and which will get a whole other rant dedicated to it in the future), the post office is pretty much only open during regular working hours - meaning, it's only open when you're, you know, at work. It just so happens, then, that those few and far between days off and my early Saturday morning hours are usually dedicated to humdrum errands, such as mailing packages.

Because so many of us are trying to squeeze in our shipments on Saturday mornings or during our lunch breaks, the line at the post office is always staggering. Going to the post office is now much like a camping trip: you need to pack a lunch, bring your own chair, and go to the bathroom first unless you want to have an uncomfortable experience later on involving a lack of toilet paper.

Adding to the inconvenience of the limited hours is the lack of customer service. While I actually have to say that just about every post office employee I've had interaction with has been very pleasant (hell, one of the window employees at my old post office sends me Christmas cards every year!), there are simply never enough people on the job to handle the huge influx of costumers on Saturdays or lunch break. I often find myself standing in line at the main branch in my town, to see only two employees standing at a window made for ten.

And how about those Automated Postel Centers? A good idea in theory and a step in the right direction, but with a poor follow through. While totally helpful for the casual shipper and available 24/7 in many post office foyers, it offers none of the features small businesses often need. (Delivery confirmation? Insurance?) Each day I stand in line 45+ minutes, watching the APC machine sitting lonely and unused.

To add even more insult to injury, I was recently stifled by my local branch being completely sold out of almost all shipping supplies, as seen here. While I, like most businesses, stock up on padded mailers and boxes, sometimes I'm just in too much of a hurry and and opt instead of the post office's ready supply of flat rate packaging. So imagine my dismay when I walked in with a bag of CDs and nothing to mail them in. Oh, hey, is that a FedEx Kinkos across the street? I bet they have boxes.

I keep hearing how the post office is loosing money, laying off employees, and raising stamp prices. Well, you get out of it what you put into it, folks. It seems to me that if you offered your services at times when it was most needed, had a staff that could handle the demand, and made your products available for purchase...you might just actually turn a profit.

Credit - A Way to Discourage Those Who Handled Their Money Well

One of my close friends was recently denied a credit card from his own bank. This friend is 26, finishing up his phD in electrical engineering, has a job with a space research institution, and has been living on his own for the last several years. This friend has been able, thus far in life, to pay all his bills (schooling, car, rent, etc.) through a combination of money management, scholarships, and a little help from the Bank of Mom & Dad. So, until now, he's never needed to take out a loan or put purchases on a card, because he's been able to manage his own finances so well as an adult.

His bank denied his credit card application on the basis that he has no credit history. So let's talk a little more about that.

Theoretically, if you pay rent, write checks, and hold down a job, you potentially have a credit history. Rental companies are allowed to put in information about your payment history into your report, as are banks who issue you checks or check cards. Even your employers can list that they have had you on their payroll for such-and-such amount of time. But none of these companies are required to do so. So even if you've always paid rent on time, paid your bills to various utility companies, and have had a steady line of employment, you may not have a lick of information in your credit report. To make things worse, get this: if you get a 'lesser' card - for instance, a gas card or a credit card from someone other than MasterCard or Visa - you still may not have anything in your credit report!

So...to sum up...you can't get a credit card because you have no credit. You have no credit, because you can't get a credit card.

My friend is attempting to get a card for the simple reason that he needs to put some of his work-related travel expenses on a card so that he can go to his meetings, and still be able to pay his bills while he waits for the school to reimburse him. It's funny how the credit system is essentially punishing him for being smart with his money.

So now what? Well, unsurprisingly, I had the exact same problem a few years ago, when I moved out after finishing college and was renting a condo with a good friend. I was in a similar situation as my friend above; due to my own situation, I was able to pay for schooling and my car without having to take out a loan. So now, while I was attempting to set up our utilities for our new apartment, I found I was unable to get our internet account completed because they only accepted credit card payments (no check or debit cards were accepted). So I cheerfully made my way to my bank (with whom I had, in my opinion, a very sizable account balance) and applied for a basic, low maximum card.

I was, of course, denied a card for the lack of a credit history.

About that time, I was receiving other pre-approved offers in the mail, like most people. I went ahead an accepted one that was sent by one of my honor societies from college - the interest rate wasn't great, but as I was only using the card for a $30 payment each month, that wasn't a problem. Eventually, after developing a good payment history from that card, it isn't a problem to transfer your balance to a newer, better card.

In any case - what a hassle for those of us who managed our money properly in the first place.

Welcome to SHIK

You've been there. Stuck in traffic, waiting in line, and on hold...just because some jackass doesn't know how to do his job or some other customer refuses to acknowledge there are other people waiting to get stuff done, too.

This blog is dedicated to you, long-suffering ones, who are struggling through life's little trials and tribulations.